Are You Single and Ready to Mingle? How to Avoid Heartbreak in Three Simple Steps.
June 19, 2023
School is out, summer vacations are locked, and the sweet smell of SPF 50 is blooming. That’s right, lovebirds, it’s crush season. But beware! Come August, beaches, lakeshores, and European hot spots will be covered in broken heart parts. And if you’re not prepared, some of those heart parts might belong to you. So how do you protect yourself from heartbreak? Think: values.
eVALUEate. Before you step into that sunshine, make a list of your top five crush values. Meaning what traits matter to you most? Sure, there are dozens, but finding someone who has it all might take more than a summer. Right now, perfection is not the goal. (Is it ever?) The goal is to find someone worthy. Some of my core crush values are honesty, kindness, stellar hygiene, wit, and thinking I’m hilarious. Know your list before you head into the wild. If you find a candidate, make sure they have what you’re looking for. If you don’t, you’re falling for potential, not personality. And that kind of fall usually ends with a break.
VALUE add. You want this person to make you feel amazing. Like, better than you feel without them. If you feel worse, as in unimportant, undervalued, or just plain un, you’re falling for potential. And we know how that ends. Snap! You should only add them if they add to you.
VAL-YOU! Do at least one thing this summer that furthers your personal growth. Take a class. Learn a new skill. Start a club. Learn an instrument. Ask someone outside of your friend group to hang out. Volunteer for an organization. Journal. Paint. Dance. Host a dinner party. Step out of your comfort zone and do something that makes you fall in love with yourself a little more. That way, your summer will be full of love, whether you get crushed by your crush or not.
This VALUEable approach takes courage and confidence. It demands that you hold out for what’s good, not good for right now. It encourages your slam-dancing hormones to calm down and let your brain cut in. It keeps you from painting red flags green and reminds you to choose instead of waiting to be chosen. It’s about empowerment, intention, and self-esteem. But, most importantly, it’s about self-love, the only kind that lasts a lifetime.
Dear Parents and People Who Judge Them: Have you labeled your parenting style? Have you judged someone else’s? Are you a Tiger, Helicopter, or Lawnmower? Are they? If your answer is no, you’ve either mastered the art of minding your own business, or the parenting style you’ve chosen (or judged) has not been named. Until […]